My nine-year old son was voice for our family prayer this evening. He prayed that our family could build Zion in our home and in our hearts. Wow!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Zion
My nine-year old son was voice for our family prayer this evening. He prayed that our family could build Zion in our home and in our hearts. Wow!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Over-speaking on under-spending
I was asked to speak to my local women's group, Candlestick Ward Relief Society, for fifteen minutes about how to spend less money on groceries...
Maybe I was asked because I have let everyone know about the free fruit I salvage from Ream's BEFORE they throw it away. It's what they consider "non-sellable" and normally would just end up in the dumpster... I can't STAND to see that waste, so I grab it from them three times a week, sort through what's still USABLE (though I can tell why it's non-sellable -- bruises, wrinkles, etc...)
Anyways, below is a summary of the notes that I spoke from -- and boy, did I speak! I went on for thirty-five minutes -- more than double the time they had allotted me. I heard quite a few giggles, didn't hear any snoring, and the nodding heads had open eyes, so I feel sure they were nodding in agreement rather than sleep! I still felt bad for going WAY overboard.
Read on and see if you think the tips would have made it worth listening to me for more than half an hour!
As a mom, I like to think that budgeting is one way in which I make use of my college degree, having to figure all that math... I also like the feeling of always being on a treasure hunt! Whether it's scouring the ads or stopping in at a second-hand store -- whenever I score a great deal, I think: "This is a little reward for paying tithing!" Really, I sincerely believe that the great God of the universe orchestrates things in such a way...
Okay, while you're reading over this, keep in mind that everything is a process. We are all on our own path, which has different twists and turns. We might not even be headed toward the same place! Different experiences and people we’re exposed to will affect us all in our own way.
So as you read things over, don’t get discouraged if you never use beans (because I’ll talk about beans). Don’t throw away my ideas altogether. Instead, consider it as something you might explore now that the idea has been proposed. Mull over it. Allow yourself to change to at least possibly considering beans at some point in your future! While you may not go home tonight and sort and soak your first pound of dry beans, you will at least feel a little more empowered knowing that real people really do eat beans.
Food has been the hardest thing for me to learn to budget… because usually when I'm thinking in terms of "budget" I can work on a need versus want basis. But when it comes to food, my response tended to be: It's Food!Of course I need it!!!!
Another issue I have had to deal with regarding budgeting food in relation to the rest of my budget, is that my MAIN stay-on-budget “tip” for myself is to not go to stores. So I had to ask, How can I feed my family without going to a store?!
I am not prepared to, nor do I live in a neighborhood that would allow me to, own my own chickens and a cow....
Actually, this question, and my long-term *process* in answering it for myself, has helped me reach my nutrition goals.
As I determined to be better about budgeting in this area, I had to really ask myself about some of the food I was purchasing -- was it really a NEED if it had stuff in it that my body didn't need?
God has given us the Word of Wisdom and it is SO MUCH MORE than just not smoking and drinking!
When I realized this, and really read it, it would make me ask myself: “When was the last time I had fruits?
Honestly, it seemed like I was eating those things sparingly, while pre-packaged, unidentifiable-from-its-origin, processed stuff was my “staff” of life…
President Holland told a great story about starving deer back in 1998 and its message has stayed with me: During a severe winter several years ago, ... a goodly number of deer had died of starvation while their stomachs were full of hay. In an honest effort to assist, agencies had supplied the superficial when the substantial was what had been needed. Regrettably they had fed the deer but they had not nourished them.
Watch out for tricky words on the labels: “Fortified!” “Made with real fruit juice!” "Enriched!" These words sound impressive, but if you consider that they are trying to convince you to buy something that had to be fortified in the first place, it may help steer you to something that doesn't NEED to be enriched because it has the "good stuff" in it naturally... Fresh produce doesn't come with those labels!
So can you eat healthfully AND stay on budget? Actually, I have found that the two goals can go hand-in-hand as long as we don’t get caught up in commercialism (thinking we have to shop at places like Wild Oats).
One answer is to start a new hobby: Gardening! Seeds are extremely cheap, and even if you purchase seedlings, you'll save money in the long run. Soil was definitely "foreign land" to me and I've had to be patient with myself over the past few years as I've determined to make my lawn feed my family something more than dandelion greens. I still very much consider myself on the learning curve and probably will for the next twenty years or so! But with each home-grown tomato, I savor the flavor and the money saved...
If you're not into gardening or you simply want to supplement what you grow, consider joining a CSA group. CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture and is basically like buying into a local farmer's "shares" of his farm. He does all the work, and you just pick it up once a week for about fifteen weeks through the harvest season.
Salt City Pantry is a dot com buying co-op that allows you to purchase the same sorts of things you would buy at places like Wild Oats, but the markup is considerably lower.
Of course, the church encourages food storage and rotation, and I've found that as I try to keep this commandment, it helps me eat more whole foods. First of all, it helps me to purchase foods in bulk (since we're supposed to have a year's worth of storage!). Also, it helps me learn to prepare more of my family's meals from scratch, which is automatically going to be healthier and cheaper than purchasing prepared foods that have to have certain unhealthy preservative-type elements.
*Some of the cookbooks I like are: "Dining on a Dime" by Tawra Kellam which covers so many of the basics that so many of my generation are unfamiliar with... There's also a reader-friendly one called "Savvy Eating for the Whole Family." It's written by a medical doctor/mother who recognizes how important nutrition now is in saving money on medical bills in the future.
At some point, I was introduced to a letter written by the First Presidency that covered the topic of food storage, and it helped me get out of my "lazy" mode concerning making meals from scratch. Again, this has all been a process for me...
One of the hardest tips I had to learn to swallow was to KEEP MY KITCHEN CLEAN… “dirty dishes cause debt” because no one feels like preparing a meal or eating a meal in a dirty kitchen -- it's just "easier" to go out to eat...
*Know how much things cost so you know what a *real* sale is (just because it’s in the ad doesn’t mean it’s a good deal). When I first started on my "path" I kept a "price book" -- I alphabetized the pages and wrote down whatever I bought and how much I paid for it and after a while it was much easier to recognize what was a "good price" and what was a real deal...
As part of the word of wisdom, we're advised to "eat meat sparingly..." and this will definitely make a difference in the budget! I am not a vegetarian, but to help me get more on the sparingly side, I use meat as a side dish, or for flavoring as opposed to as the main dish. You can also make the meat stretch using beans or cracked wheat. (So far, I haven't used cracked wheat, I've just read about it).
Opportunity Costs… when grapes are $1.89 a pound and you’re thinking, “I’m not going to pay that much for grapes!!!” So you go down the aisle and you purchase a package of fruit snacks because they’re on sale for $2.50… Figure your TRUE costs!!! Yes, $1.89 is NOT a sale price for grapes, however, it is LESS than the fruit snacks, it is MUCH better for you than fruit snacks, and you can recognize where it comes from.
*Matching Ads at Wal-mart (currently I have philosophical issues with Wal-mart, so I don't do this anymore, but I got some darn good deals when I did!)
*Coupons (I don’t know much about those because it’s not the kind of food that I eat but there are people who make their entire living from explaining the coupon game)
*Pantry-Shop according to ads, rather than make a list for just that week’s meals, have a WIDE variety of foods on your shelves at any given time, built up over time by having purchased a lot of it JUST when it is on sale. Have a list of meals you can make based on these pantry-ingredients. This is my "main" method right now...
*USE WHAT YOU HAVE!!! We truly live in a land of abundance and we often look at our fairly full cupboards and think “There’s nothing to eat” because it’s EASIER to run to the $5 pizza shop (guilty!) than to use our ingenuity and some elbow grease to concoct something out of what’s already on our shelves. Make dinner based on what needs to be used up! We have leftover rice? We make ham-fried-rice. We have LOTS of zucchini? We slice up some of it and steam it for the side dish, plus we chop it up real tiny and put it in the spaghetti sauce!
Some of the issues we run into as moms:
PROBLEM ONE: Kids seem to prefer pre-packaged stuff that has pretty pictures on it and too much sweet sugar in it. How can we fight this battle? Don’t offer it… don’t purchase it… when it is offered by someone else, let your children have it as a treat (I personally don’t believe in requiring my children NOT to eat it, but to label it as a treat so they know they won’t get it very often). Some of that stuff seriously has as much sugar as cotton candy but you wouldn’t think that it’s okay to offer cotton candy to your children very often!
TEACH your children, by word and by example. Help them learn to read labels. Help them know what kinds of things we WANT to be eating (we call it “good food”) and what kinds of things might be tasty treats for AFTER we have the good stuff in our tummies. Help them know what we need to limit (like high fructose corn syrup, red meat, artificial ingredients, etc) and what it has been shown to do to our bodies.
PROBLEM TWO: Pre-packaged stuff is so much faster… and my life as a mom is too crazy-busy to put much time into home-made, from-scratch etc. etc… I don’t really enjoy cooking and therefore I don't WANT to spend hours a day in the kitchen!!!
*Once-a-month Cooking – freezer meals
*Planned-overs vs. leftovers (PURPOSELY make enough dinner to feed you lunch the next day) – this also helps with the problem with your children because they are more likely to eat what they see in front of them more often!!!
*Beans (believe it or not). These really are a way to reduce your time in the kitchen. The book Country Beans by Rita Bingham has so many tips and tricks -- your conversion to beans will be faster than you ever imagined.
*Boil macaroni for breakfast – it’s as easy and nearly as quick as cereal but has PROTEIN and virtually no sugar so you won't start your children's day with a sugar high (which all too quickly drops to the plunge).
*Home-made or even store-bought mixes make life faster. Consider having breakfast for dinner – French toast, pancakes, etc -- as a fun alternative once in a while.
Humbly consider if there’s anything in your crazy-busy life that you can eliminate SO THAT you can take this aspect of your life seriously. One of the great rules of life is that you will gain the greatest satisfaction from what you put your greatest efforts into. This is true even if it wasn't originally a hobby in your life.
Study after study comes out and tells us what our prophets have already been telling us. As we align ourselves with the prophets, we will feel better. This is true regarding ANY commandment!
“Keep the commandments and ye shall prosper in the land.”
Are there any FULL guarantees? Will we never experience bodily problems like fatigue, cancer, or other issues if we live the word of wisdom? Not necessarily. However, there will come a time when the Lord will ask how we treated this body, and he might choose to explain how he chose what trials to give us.
On a final note, please remember that as you SAVE money on food, you will have more money to give. Choosing to be on a budget does not mean choosing to be stingy. There are so many ways to talk about good karma, what goes around comes around, the philosophy of generosity and why it pays. I really like the following little poem I learned in Reed Benson's class at BYU:
"Give to the needy sweet charity bread,
For giving is living," the angel said.
"Oh, must I be giving again and again?"
My peevish and willful answer ran.
"Oh no" said the angel, piercing me through,
"Just give 'til the Lord stops giving to you."
Maybe I was asked because I have let everyone know about the free fruit I salvage from Ream's BEFORE they throw it away. It's what they consider "non-sellable" and normally would just end up in the dumpster... I can't STAND to see that waste, so I grab it from them three times a week, sort through what's still USABLE (though I can tell why it's non-sellable -- bruises, wrinkles, etc...)
Anyways, below is a summary of the notes that I spoke from -- and boy, did I speak! I went on for thirty-five minutes -- more than double the time they had allotted me. I heard quite a few giggles, didn't hear any snoring, and the nodding heads had open eyes, so I feel sure they were nodding in agreement rather than sleep! I still felt bad for going WAY overboard.
Read on and see if you think the tips would have made it worth listening to me for more than half an hour!
As a mom, I like to think that budgeting is one way in which I make use of my college degree, having to figure all that math... I also like the feeling of always being on a treasure hunt! Whether it's scouring the ads or stopping in at a second-hand store -- whenever I score a great deal, I think: "This is a little reward for paying tithing!" Really, I sincerely believe that the great God of the universe orchestrates things in such a way...
Okay, while you're reading over this, keep in mind that everything is a process. We are all on our own path, which has different twists and turns. We might not even be headed toward the same place! Different experiences and people we’re exposed to will affect us all in our own way.
So as you read things over, don’t get discouraged if you never use beans (because I’ll talk about beans). Don’t throw away my ideas altogether. Instead, consider it as something you might explore now that the idea has been proposed. Mull over it. Allow yourself to change to at least possibly considering beans at some point in your future! While you may not go home tonight and sort and soak your first pound of dry beans, you will at least feel a little more empowered knowing that real people really do eat beans.
Food has been the hardest thing for me to learn to budget… because usually when I'm thinking in terms of "budget" I can work on a need versus want basis. But when it comes to food, my response tended to be: It's Food!Of course I need it!!!!
Another issue I have had to deal with regarding budgeting food in relation to the rest of my budget, is that my MAIN stay-on-budget “tip” for myself is to not go to stores. So I had to ask, How can I feed my family without going to a store?!
I am not prepared to, nor do I live in a neighborhood that would allow me to, own my own chickens and a cow....
Actually, this question, and my long-term *process* in answering it for myself, has helped me reach my nutrition goals.
As I determined to be better about budgeting in this area, I had to really ask myself about some of the food I was purchasing -- was it really a NEED if it had stuff in it that my body didn't need?
God has given us the Word of Wisdom and it is SO MUCH MORE than just not smoking and drinking!
When I realized this, and really read it, it would make me ask myself: “When was the last time I had fruits?
Honestly, it seemed like I was eating those things sparingly, while pre-packaged, unidentifiable-from-its-origin, processed stuff was my “staff” of life…
President Holland told a great story about starving deer back in 1998 and its message has stayed with me: During a severe winter several years ago, ... a goodly number of deer had died of starvation while their stomachs were full of hay. In an honest effort to assist, agencies had supplied the superficial when the substantial was what had been needed. Regrettably they had fed the deer but they had not nourished them.
Watch out for tricky words on the labels: “Fortified!” “Made with real fruit juice!” "Enriched!" These words sound impressive, but if you consider that they are trying to convince you to buy something that had to be fortified in the first place, it may help steer you to something that doesn't NEED to be enriched because it has the "good stuff" in it naturally... Fresh produce doesn't come with those labels!
So can you eat healthfully AND stay on budget? Actually, I have found that the two goals can go hand-in-hand as long as we don’t get caught up in commercialism (thinking we have to shop at places like Wild Oats).
One answer is to start a new hobby: Gardening! Seeds are extremely cheap, and even if you purchase seedlings, you'll save money in the long run. Soil was definitely "foreign land" to me and I've had to be patient with myself over the past few years as I've determined to make my lawn feed my family something more than dandelion greens. I still very much consider myself on the learning curve and probably will for the next twenty years or so! But with each home-grown tomato, I savor the flavor and the money saved...
If you're not into gardening or you simply want to supplement what you grow, consider joining a CSA group. CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture and is basically like buying into a local farmer's "shares" of his farm. He does all the work, and you just pick it up once a week for about fifteen weeks through the harvest season.
Salt City Pantry is a dot com buying co-op that allows you to purchase the same sorts of things you would buy at places like Wild Oats, but the markup is considerably lower.
Of course, the church encourages food storage and rotation, and I've found that as I try to keep this commandment, it helps me eat more whole foods. First of all, it helps me to purchase foods in bulk (since we're supposed to have a year's worth of storage!). Also, it helps me learn to prepare more of my family's meals from scratch, which is automatically going to be healthier and cheaper than purchasing prepared foods that have to have certain unhealthy preservative-type elements.
*Some of the cookbooks I like are: "Dining on a Dime" by Tawra Kellam which covers so many of the basics that so many of my generation are unfamiliar with... There's also a reader-friendly one called "Savvy Eating for the Whole Family." It's written by a medical doctor/mother who recognizes how important nutrition now is in saving money on medical bills in the future.
At some point, I was introduced to a letter written by the First Presidency that covered the topic of food storage, and it helped me get out of my "lazy" mode concerning making meals from scratch. Again, this has all been a process for me...
One of the hardest tips I had to learn to swallow was to KEEP MY KITCHEN CLEAN… “dirty dishes cause debt” because no one feels like preparing a meal or eating a meal in a dirty kitchen -- it's just "easier" to go out to eat...
*Know how much things cost so you know what a *real* sale is (just because it’s in the ad doesn’t mean it’s a good deal). When I first started on my "path" I kept a "price book" -- I alphabetized the pages and wrote down whatever I bought and how much I paid for it and after a while it was much easier to recognize what was a "good price" and what was a real deal...
As part of the word of wisdom, we're advised to "eat meat sparingly..." and this will definitely make a difference in the budget! I am not a vegetarian, but to help me get more on the sparingly side, I use meat as a side dish, or for flavoring as opposed to as the main dish. You can also make the meat stretch using beans or cracked wheat. (So far, I haven't used cracked wheat, I've just read about it).
Opportunity Costs… when grapes are $1.89 a pound and you’re thinking, “I’m not going to pay that much for grapes!!!” So you go down the aisle and you purchase a package of fruit snacks because they’re on sale for $2.50… Figure your TRUE costs!!! Yes, $1.89 is NOT a sale price for grapes, however, it is LESS than the fruit snacks, it is MUCH better for you than fruit snacks, and you can recognize where it comes from.
*Matching Ads at Wal-mart (currently I have philosophical issues with Wal-mart, so I don't do this anymore, but I got some darn good deals when I did!)
*Coupons (I don’t know much about those because it’s not the kind of food that I eat but there are people who make their entire living from explaining the coupon game)
*Pantry-Shop according to ads, rather than make a list for just that week’s meals, have a WIDE variety of foods on your shelves at any given time, built up over time by having purchased a lot of it JUST when it is on sale. Have a list of meals you can make based on these pantry-ingredients. This is my "main" method right now...
*USE WHAT YOU HAVE!!! We truly live in a land of abundance and we often look at our fairly full cupboards and think “There’s nothing to eat” because it’s EASIER to run to the $5 pizza shop (guilty!) than to use our ingenuity and some elbow grease to concoct something out of what’s already on our shelves. Make dinner based on what needs to be used up! We have leftover rice? We make ham-fried-rice. We have LOTS of zucchini? We slice up some of it and steam it for the side dish, plus we chop it up real tiny and put it in the spaghetti sauce!
Some of the issues we run into as moms:
PROBLEM ONE: Kids seem to prefer pre-packaged stuff that has pretty pictures on it and too much sweet sugar in it. How can we fight this battle? Don’t offer it… don’t purchase it… when it is offered by someone else, let your children have it as a treat (I personally don’t believe in requiring my children NOT to eat it, but to label it as a treat so they know they won’t get it very often). Some of that stuff seriously has as much sugar as cotton candy but you wouldn’t think that it’s okay to offer cotton candy to your children very often!
TEACH your children, by word and by example. Help them learn to read labels. Help them know what kinds of things we WANT to be eating (we call it “good food”) and what kinds of things might be tasty treats for AFTER we have the good stuff in our tummies. Help them know what we need to limit (like high fructose corn syrup, red meat, artificial ingredients, etc) and what it has been shown to do to our bodies.
PROBLEM TWO: Pre-packaged stuff is so much faster… and my life as a mom is too crazy-busy to put much time into home-made, from-scratch etc. etc… I don’t really enjoy cooking and therefore I don't WANT to spend hours a day in the kitchen!!!
*Once-a-month Cooking – freezer meals
*Planned-overs vs. leftovers (PURPOSELY make enough dinner to feed you lunch the next day) – this also helps with the problem with your children because they are more likely to eat what they see in front of them more often!!!
*Beans (believe it or not). These really are a way to reduce your time in the kitchen. The book Country Beans by Rita Bingham has so many tips and tricks -- your conversion to beans will be faster than you ever imagined.
*Boil macaroni for breakfast – it’s as easy and nearly as quick as cereal but has PROTEIN and virtually no sugar so you won't start your children's day with a sugar high (which all too quickly drops to the plunge).
*Home-made or even store-bought mixes make life faster. Consider having breakfast for dinner – French toast, pancakes, etc -- as a fun alternative once in a while.
Humbly consider if there’s anything in your crazy-busy life that you can eliminate SO THAT you can take this aspect of your life seriously. One of the great rules of life is that you will gain the greatest satisfaction from what you put your greatest efforts into. This is true even if it wasn't originally a hobby in your life.
Study after study comes out and tells us what our prophets have already been telling us. As we align ourselves with the prophets, we will feel better. This is true regarding ANY commandment!
“Keep the commandments and ye shall prosper in the land.”
Are there any FULL guarantees? Will we never experience bodily problems like fatigue, cancer, or other issues if we live the word of wisdom? Not necessarily. However, there will come a time when the Lord will ask how we treated this body, and he might choose to explain how he chose what trials to give us.
On a final note, please remember that as you SAVE money on food, you will have more money to give. Choosing to be on a budget does not mean choosing to be stingy. There are so many ways to talk about good karma, what goes around comes around, the philosophy of generosity and why it pays. I really like the following little poem I learned in Reed Benson's class at BYU:
"Give to the needy sweet charity bread,
For giving is living," the angel said.
"Oh, must I be giving again and again?"
My peevish and willful answer ran.
"Oh no" said the angel, piercing me through,
"Just give 'til the Lord stops giving to you."
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Hairy Legs aren't just for Spiders
Early last spring, my hippie side took over and made me stop shaving my legs. I haven't used a razor below my knee since (I never used one above my knee).
I did cave to social pressure to have hair-free legs for swimsuit season, but in an attempt to stay true to my anti-razor convictions, I suffered through waxing -- yikes! As I squelched the yelps, not wanting to appear wimpy, I comforted myself thinking that perhaps this would help my hair to grow in a little less wiry and black since I was having it yanked out, roots and all. But as the summer ended and the hair came back, my hopes were shattered. It was wirey and black, much like my husband's. Lovely.
Speaking of my husband, he has taken this rebellion of mine rather well. I keep my knee-high socks on when the rest of me is bare, and I suppose that helps. Several years ago, I took a break from shaving during the winter (my skinny legs need the fur, I reasoned) and when springtime came, I couldn't allow my secret to be exposed due to shorter pant legs, so I shaved. Within a couple of days of the return of the smooth, western-woman legs, the pillow-talk consisted of:
ME: Husband, you are perfect for me. I'm so glad we have such a great kind of love -- we just get along so perfectly, and it's not even like we have to say, "well, except for such-and-such, you're great" -- like, everything is great!!!
HUSBAND: Yes, especially now that you're shaving your legs again.
ME: Hee hee. Ahem.
So, you see, choosing now to have hairy legs may seem risky to my marriage! However, my husband has assured me that my current decision to abandon the razor again does not affect our long-term goals of happily ever after. Whew! He's so mature. Maybe it helps that my knee-high socks are kinda sexy - polka-dots, stripes, and other alluring patterns.
I've pointed out to my sons, ages 5 and 7, that my hairy legs are what nature bestowed upon me -- as well as upon their future wives. I consider my rejection of the razor as a gift to these daughters-in-law-to-be, since I am basically raising sons to accept hairy women as a norm.
Alas, I'm aware that my own daughters, currently just 2 with barely visible leg hair, may submit to the same peer pressure that caused me to become a shaver at the young age of 12. I can't change an entire culture, try as I might. But should they ever regret their relationship wtih the razor and want to embrace the hairy-leg-look, they'll know that their mother approves.
This whole anti-shaving stance is really an exercise in self-acceptance. I do not in any way find my masculine-hairy legs attractive. However, I didn't find my shaved legs attractive, either -- just more socially acceptable. My ultimate hope is that within a few years, my ultra-long, dark black, thick leg hairs will have all fallen out, and the hair that grows back will ideally be the kind that grows on my thighs.
Why, by the way, does shaved hair grow back so forcefully? My musings on this matter have concluded that it really is a fight with the razor. The razor invades the gentle growth patterns, removing the fine, light hair in an angry, mow-it-down manner. The hair, sensing its self-worth, is determined to have its place on my body and fuels itself with stronger follicles. The pricklies, however, summon the razor back, and another defeat occurs.
Wouldn't it be great if the rain forests reacted in such a way?!
I did cave to social pressure to have hair-free legs for swimsuit season, but in an attempt to stay true to my anti-razor convictions, I suffered through waxing -- yikes! As I squelched the yelps, not wanting to appear wimpy, I comforted myself thinking that perhaps this would help my hair to grow in a little less wiry and black since I was having it yanked out, roots and all. But as the summer ended and the hair came back, my hopes were shattered. It was wirey and black, much like my husband's. Lovely.
Speaking of my husband, he has taken this rebellion of mine rather well. I keep my knee-high socks on when the rest of me is bare, and I suppose that helps. Several years ago, I took a break from shaving during the winter (my skinny legs need the fur, I reasoned) and when springtime came, I couldn't allow my secret to be exposed due to shorter pant legs, so I shaved. Within a couple of days of the return of the smooth, western-woman legs, the pillow-talk consisted of:
ME: Husband, you are perfect for me. I'm so glad we have such a great kind of love -- we just get along so perfectly, and it's not even like we have to say, "well, except for such-and-such, you're great" -- like, everything is great!!!
HUSBAND: Yes, especially now that you're shaving your legs again.
ME: Hee hee. Ahem.
So, you see, choosing now to have hairy legs may seem risky to my marriage! However, my husband has assured me that my current decision to abandon the razor again does not affect our long-term goals of happily ever after. Whew! He's so mature. Maybe it helps that my knee-high socks are kinda sexy - polka-dots, stripes, and other alluring patterns.
I've pointed out to my sons, ages 5 and 7, that my hairy legs are what nature bestowed upon me -- as well as upon their future wives. I consider my rejection of the razor as a gift to these daughters-in-law-to-be, since I am basically raising sons to accept hairy women as a norm.
Alas, I'm aware that my own daughters, currently just 2 with barely visible leg hair, may submit to the same peer pressure that caused me to become a shaver at the young age of 12. I can't change an entire culture, try as I might. But should they ever regret their relationship wtih the razor and want to embrace the hairy-leg-look, they'll know that their mother approves.
This whole anti-shaving stance is really an exercise in self-acceptance. I do not in any way find my masculine-hairy legs attractive. However, I didn't find my shaved legs attractive, either -- just more socially acceptable. My ultimate hope is that within a few years, my ultra-long, dark black, thick leg hairs will have all fallen out, and the hair that grows back will ideally be the kind that grows on my thighs.
Why, by the way, does shaved hair grow back so forcefully? My musings on this matter have concluded that it really is a fight with the razor. The razor invades the gentle growth patterns, removing the fine, light hair in an angry, mow-it-down manner. The hair, sensing its self-worth, is determined to have its place on my body and fuels itself with stronger follicles. The pricklies, however, summon the razor back, and another defeat occurs.
Wouldn't it be great if the rain forests reacted in such a way?!
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Story of Stuff - a Must-See!
Like you, I get a lot of forwards in my inbox. Whether it's tips to avoid a rapist or an invitation to get Microsoft to share their millions with me, I generally just hit delete without even bothering to check it on Snopes.com.
In the case of this link, http://www.storyofstuff.com/, I received it with a heartfelt note from a girlfriend, warning me that it's 20 minutes long and may provoke some deep thoughts. I was grateful for both warnings, but still unprepared for exactly how much those 20 minutes could cause such intense ponderings!
Maybe you've already seen it -- I don't know how much it's getting around, but so far I've only seen the link in my inbox once. Come back to this link when you know you can focus on the amazingly important message that is shared in such an enlightening and motivating manner.
I suppose I sort of have a reputation of making some non-traditional choices -- among them, homebirth, attachment parenting, and homeschool. Overall, I feel like people respect my choices even if they don't agree or understand. Honestly, I don't always understand, other than I'm following my gut!
While this movie doesn't touch specifically on these issues, I feel like it relays a message of individual empowerment to effect change even in the face of forces that seem so much bigger than us.
Recently I've been going through a "phase" of wanting to reduce my use of plastics and clear out the clutter in my house. I feel like this movie does such a good job of explaining what I didn't even know were some great underlying reasons to be pro-active in these ways.
I do not necessarily agree with all of its political undertones (I specifically remember Bush inviting us to pray after 9/11), but its important to consider all the angles.
If you're like me in having budgetary reasons to recycle and have less stuff, this film will make you feel really good! You'll probably find ways to pat yourself on the back, while also being gently chastised for simply not considering all the who, what, where, when, and why about Wal-Mart!
I have betrayed myself as a big believer in the innate power of mothers in society, and I encourage mothers everywhere to take back our roles: rock the cradle and thereby rule the world!
As you watch the movie, it won't specifically mention motherhood, but see if you can find the ways this applies to mothers.
This movie also doesn't go into religious terminology, but it could -- things like love our neighbors, the dangers of pride and selfishness, choosing not to go into debt, taking care of God's creations, cultivating self-sustenance...
The fact is, God wants us to apply the Ten Commandments to our own circumstances using our own brains without him having to spell everything out. I feel like this movie helps us understand how these environmental issues are, in fact, spiritual in nature!
I'd love to hear your feedback after you've had a chance to watch this film. My hope is that it will free you from the pressures of the Golden Arrow and allow you to find a simpler, stuff-free way of living wherein you can really tap into the true sources of happiness: family and faith!
In the case of this link, http://www.storyofstuff.com/, I received it with a heartfelt note from a girlfriend, warning me that it's 20 minutes long and may provoke some deep thoughts. I was grateful for both warnings, but still unprepared for exactly how much those 20 minutes could cause such intense ponderings!
Maybe you've already seen it -- I don't know how much it's getting around, but so far I've only seen the link in my inbox once. Come back to this link when you know you can focus on the amazingly important message that is shared in such an enlightening and motivating manner.
I suppose I sort of have a reputation of making some non-traditional choices -- among them, homebirth, attachment parenting, and homeschool. Overall, I feel like people respect my choices even if they don't agree or understand. Honestly, I don't always understand, other than I'm following my gut!
While this movie doesn't touch specifically on these issues, I feel like it relays a message of individual empowerment to effect change even in the face of forces that seem so much bigger than us.
Recently I've been going through a "phase" of wanting to reduce my use of plastics and clear out the clutter in my house. I feel like this movie does such a good job of explaining what I didn't even know were some great underlying reasons to be pro-active in these ways.
I do not necessarily agree with all of its political undertones (I specifically remember Bush inviting us to pray after 9/11), but its important to consider all the angles.
If you're like me in having budgetary reasons to recycle and have less stuff, this film will make you feel really good! You'll probably find ways to pat yourself on the back, while also being gently chastised for simply not considering all the who, what, where, when, and why about Wal-Mart!
I have betrayed myself as a big believer in the innate power of mothers in society, and I encourage mothers everywhere to take back our roles: rock the cradle and thereby rule the world!
As you watch the movie, it won't specifically mention motherhood, but see if you can find the ways this applies to mothers.
This movie also doesn't go into religious terminology, but it could -- things like love our neighbors, the dangers of pride and selfishness, choosing not to go into debt, taking care of God's creations, cultivating self-sustenance...
The fact is, God wants us to apply the Ten Commandments to our own circumstances using our own brains without him having to spell everything out. I feel like this movie helps us understand how these environmental issues are, in fact, spiritual in nature!
I'd love to hear your feedback after you've had a chance to watch this film. My hope is that it will free you from the pressures of the Golden Arrow and allow you to find a simpler, stuff-free way of living wherein you can really tap into the true sources of happiness: family and faith!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Controversy in Motherhood
Motherhood.
It's either seen as too easy (all you do is cook and clean and make sure the kids don't drown) or it's seen as too hard (try arguing with a two-year old!)
It is agreed that it can be physically exhausting (all that cooking and cleaning!)... and philosophically exasperating (deciding whether or not to end the forementioned argument with a hug or a spanking...).
There are women who accidentally become mothers -- at least biologically. Some of them recognize their unplanned pregnancy as their ticket to immortality and THEN choose to BECOME mothers.
Some of them just go to the doctor and ask him to spare them the difficulties (and joys) of a lifetime, one they were willing to do the dance to create, but not willing to do the dirty work to complete.
Then there are women who try for years to become mothers in that same biological sense. Some of them "succeed" and experience pregnancy.
Some of them end up choosing to pursue motherhood by means of another woman, one who chooses to end her biological motherhood when her pregnancy ends but at a time when the child's life can continue.
How many women, regardless of whether or not they actually bear children, put that much thought, anguish, effort, desire, money, energy, and planning into BECOMING mothers in the emotional sense?
Yes, unplanned pregnancies are a striking social concern. But what about unplanned motherhood -- which is quite common, even among women who choose biological motherhood...
I'm CONTROMOM -- "contro" for controversial -- and yes, I wear a bandana on my head and hide things in my socks on occasion... I want moms to grow and progress in their motherhood, rather than simply claim it as a state of being. This is how I plan to take over the world, ha ha ha!
Tell me about your mom! Tell me how you blame her for your faults and give her credit for your successful endeavors...
Tell me about your mothering! Have you outsourced it, like all the other big companies are doing? Or are you choosing to use it as a forum wherein you develop yourself, your talents, your future and the future of our society.
As much as I hate to admit this, motherhood DOES consist largely of cooking, cleaning, and making sure the kids don't drown.
What are we cooking? Emotional nourishment has its own food pyramid. Are we ignoring it as badly as we ignore the USDA suggestions?
What are we cleaning? Life is about making messes. It's also about learning how to clean them up. Are we teaching our children skills of fixing what we break and putting things in the trash?
And as far as "making sure the kids don't drown" -- drown in what? Does your "high-quality" daycare even recognize that there are forces flooding our society that aren't made up of hydrogen and oxygen.
Tell me I should be called retro-mom. I'm old-fashioned. But I'm not. I live in the now, because my children do and I have to be able to teach them how to be contributing citizens.
This work, this career called motherhood -- this is how I'm contributing to society!
My thumbs are in my ears, my fingers waving -- this job is so much more important than what women do. I'm a mom.
Yo momma. Come to the 'hood. Talk to me. I hear ya.
It's either seen as too easy (all you do is cook and clean and make sure the kids don't drown) or it's seen as too hard (try arguing with a two-year old!)
It is agreed that it can be physically exhausting (all that cooking and cleaning!)... and philosophically exasperating (deciding whether or not to end the forementioned argument with a hug or a spanking...).
There are women who accidentally become mothers -- at least biologically. Some of them recognize their unplanned pregnancy as their ticket to immortality and THEN choose to BECOME mothers.
Some of them just go to the doctor and ask him to spare them the difficulties (and joys) of a lifetime, one they were willing to do the dance to create, but not willing to do the dirty work to complete.
Then there are women who try for years to become mothers in that same biological sense. Some of them "succeed" and experience pregnancy.
Some of them end up choosing to pursue motherhood by means of another woman, one who chooses to end her biological motherhood when her pregnancy ends but at a time when the child's life can continue.
How many women, regardless of whether or not they actually bear children, put that much thought, anguish, effort, desire, money, energy, and planning into BECOMING mothers in the emotional sense?
Yes, unplanned pregnancies are a striking social concern. But what about unplanned motherhood -- which is quite common, even among women who choose biological motherhood...
I'm CONTROMOM -- "contro" for controversial -- and yes, I wear a bandana on my head and hide things in my socks on occasion... I want moms to grow and progress in their motherhood, rather than simply claim it as a state of being. This is how I plan to take over the world, ha ha ha!
Tell me about your mom! Tell me how you blame her for your faults and give her credit for your successful endeavors...
Tell me about your mothering! Have you outsourced it, like all the other big companies are doing? Or are you choosing to use it as a forum wherein you develop yourself, your talents, your future and the future of our society.
As much as I hate to admit this, motherhood DOES consist largely of cooking, cleaning, and making sure the kids don't drown.
What are we cooking? Emotional nourishment has its own food pyramid. Are we ignoring it as badly as we ignore the USDA suggestions?
What are we cleaning? Life is about making messes. It's also about learning how to clean them up. Are we teaching our children skills of fixing what we break and putting things in the trash?
And as far as "making sure the kids don't drown" -- drown in what? Does your "high-quality" daycare even recognize that there are forces flooding our society that aren't made up of hydrogen and oxygen.
Tell me I should be called retro-mom. I'm old-fashioned. But I'm not. I live in the now, because my children do and I have to be able to teach them how to be contributing citizens.
This work, this career called motherhood -- this is how I'm contributing to society!
My thumbs are in my ears, my fingers waving -- this job is so much more important than what women do. I'm a mom.
Yo momma. Come to the 'hood. Talk to me. I hear ya.
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