Controversy in Motherhood

Motherhood.

It's either seen as too easy (all you do is cook and clean and make sure the kids don't drown) or it's seen as too hard (try arguing with a two-year old!)

It is agreed that it can be physically exhausting (all that cooking and cleaning!)... and philosophically exasperating (deciding whether or not to end the forementioned argument with a hug or a spanking...).

There are women who accidentally become mothers -- at least biologically. Some of them recognize their unplanned pregnancy as their ticket to immortality and THEN choose to BECOME mothers.

Some of them just go to the doctor and ask him to spare them the difficulties (and joys) of a lifetime, one they were willing to do the dance to create, but not willing to do the dirty work to complete.

Then there are women who try for years to become mothers in that same biological sense. Some of them "succeed" and experience pregnancy.

Some of them end up choosing to pursue motherhood by means of another woman, one who chooses to end her biological motherhood when her pregnancy ends but at a time when the child's life can continue.

How many women, regardless of whether or not they actually bear children, put that much thought, anguish, effort, desire, money, energy, and planning into BECOMING mothers in the emotional sense?

Yes, unplanned pregnancies are a striking social concern. But what about unplanned motherhood -- which is quite common, even among women who choose biological motherhood...

I'm CONTROMOM -- "contro" for controversial -- and yes, I wear a bandana on my head and hide things in my socks on occasion... I want moms to grow and progress in their motherhood, rather than simply claim it as a state of being. This is how I plan to take over the world, ha ha ha!

Tell me about your mom! Tell me how you blame her for your faults and give her credit for your successful endeavors...

Tell me about your mothering! Have you outsourced it, like all the other big companies are doing? Or are you choosing to use it as a forum wherein you develop yourself, your talents, your future and the future of our society.

As much as I hate to admit this, motherhood DOES consist largely of cooking, cleaning, and making sure the kids don't drown.

What are we cooking? Emotional nourishment has its own food pyramid. Are we ignoring it as badly as we ignore the USDA suggestions?

What are we cleaning? Life is about making messes. It's also about learning how to clean them up. Are we teaching our children skills of fixing what we break and putting things in the trash?

And as far as "making sure the kids don't drown" -- drown in what? Does your "high-quality" daycare even recognize that there are forces flooding our society that aren't made up of hydrogen and oxygen.

Tell me I should be called retro-mom. I'm old-fashioned. But I'm not. I live in the now, because my children do and I have to be able to teach them how to be contributing citizens.

This work, this career called motherhood -- this is how I'm contributing to society!

My thumbs are in my ears, my fingers waving -- this job is so much more important than what women do. I'm a mom.

Yo momma. Come to the 'hood. Talk to me. I hear ya.